The Card's You're Dealt
by ObessedTWFan
Summary: Final chapter. Sequel To Cotton Candy Anyone?
1. Hearing Aids

**A/N:** Yes I know that the break up was over a stupid reason but I know people who have broken up on a lot less. I know I said that it was only going to be one or two chapters now I'm not so sure, cause so many things have to happen. So it may be four like the last one. Who knows maybe I'll do a sequel to this one too, I'll have to see what type of feedback I get.

I want to point out that if I owned the characters which I DON'T, hello this would be happening. But until then I'm left writing what's in my mind, which I haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing.

I also want to dedicate this entire story to Nicole101 and her cousin Jaimie Lee. I know how hard it was to loose a cousin but under different circumstances. So this one is for you! And Jaimie may you rest in peace.

On a happier note, just remember you're never alone in this world.

* * *

It had been two weeks since they had their little argument in the car and about a month since they broke up. No one knew but they sensed something was off. Grissom not being much of a people person even sensed something and kept them apart.

Expect tonight, one case had come in and no one else had been free, having each just solved their solo case they had been given a few nights before. Grissom felt it was better if two worked it; it was a big one. A triple murder with nothing to go on.

That's what started this hunt for Greg, she looked every where, DNA, trace on a slight hope that he be there but hadn't, Doc Robbins territory, Archie and Jacqui hadn't seen him either. He was missing but hadn't left the building.

"Greg are you-" she said as she opened the locker room door, the sight before her stopped her dead in her tracks. She found Greg but he didn't look too good, worse than he had been the last few weeks. Her heart swelled at the sight of him but also broke in two to see him like this.

He sat staring at his open locker, a far away look in his eyes. She didn't think she knew he hadn't heard her. She stood there for a few seconds wondering if she should leave him alone or see what was troubling him. Not being the one to back down from a challenge she stepped closer and knelt in front of him.

"Greg" he didn't even look at her let alone answer her

"Greg" she said again as she placed a hand on his arm, more for support than actually anything but he finally snapped out of what ever he was in. It was more than her that was troubling him, he almost seemed relieved to see her.

"Greg honey what's wrong?" the word honey slipped out before she could stop it but she liked it.

He cleared his throat before sitting straight up.

"Nothing" he stood putting his cell back in the locker, she hadn't seen it in his hand when she came in.

"I know we have unfinished business but you look like you could use a friend" she said softly

"You can't be my friend Sara"

"How about someone just to talk to"

"You can't be my friend because every time I look at you I want to kiss you senseless"

She was at a loss for words. He was about close his locker when a small blue box caught her eye, she didn't want to sound selfish but she couldn't help but wonder if that was her ring.

"Is that my ring?" he opened the half closed locker back up and looked up at the velvet box.

"Ya"

"Can I see it?"

"Sure it's not like your going to wear it" he handed her the box, the only sound in the room was the small click as the box opened. The lone diamond sat twinkling, almost mocking her, telling her that she could be wearing this if she wasn't such a dickhead.

"It's pretty"

"It was my grandmother's being the only boy in the family she gave it to me when she died, told me to give it to a special girl one day" she felt the tears sting at the back of her eyes and she had to blink a few times before she could see clearly again. She tried to hand it back to him but he refused to take it

"It has no value to me no girl is going to be as special to me as you were"

"Please Greg don't" the tears were back again

"Just telling the truth"

She had to get him to tell her what was bothering him.

"Please Greg tell me I can't stand to see you like this"

"Well you should have thought about that before you broke your promise" What promise what he talking about?

He walked past her to leave and she did the only thing that would get instant results, she grabbed his arm and tugged him towards her. The look of confusion clearly evident on his face, he was about to ask what she was doing but couldn't because her lips covered his.

"What the…" he trailed off as the kiss ended, she had him in a death grip, her body loving that she was touching him again after so long.

"I'm sorry for everything. I just don't want to be away from you any more" his face said he was relieved but his eyes held pain.

"And if you don't mind, I would like to wear the ring"

"Naturally of course" he smiled as he kissed her for reassurance, but he felt a little guilty for being so happy when he just found out some bad news. The emotion over took him and Sara immediately knew something was wrong.

"What's the matter?" he let go off her but took her hand and led her to the bench where he sat down motioning for her do to the same. He let go of her hand completely and put his head in both of his. The sobs came out the same time Sara sat down. She wrapped both arms around him

"Jaimie Lee killed herself a few hours ago" her heart broke in half again, no one should have to go through the pain of loosing a loved one.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry" her news she had to tell him seemed less important now and could wait. She smoothed down the hair at the back of his neck as the sobs continued to rack through him.

"Did she say why?" she asked in a whisper, it was a few minutes before he answered and she wasn't sure if he heard her or not.

"She left a note not to be angry, but she felt so alone" the sobs were weak now and he was able to talk more

"Mom said that her boyfriend broke up with her, her friends disowned her and she was kicked out of one of the clubs she was into, no one would talk to her"

"I can't even begin to imagine how that must feel"

"I may have been an out cast but at least my friends stood by me"

"When are you leaving, you are going home right?"

"Ya I don't know, there's so much to do, get time off, book a ticket, rent a car, pack"

"I'm going with you"

"Sara you don't have to"

"I want to, unless you don't want me there" she looked down at her hands and the box in her left hand. He lifted her chin with a finger

"Don't you think for one second that I don't want you understood?" she nodded

"Good"

"Do you wanna work the rest of the shift or go home? I can do the case myself "

"No I can work for the rest of the night"

"Okay ready?" she held out her hand to him, he gladly took it but stopped suddenly.

"Something the matter?"

"Just one thing" he took the box of her hand and opened it,

"Gotta do this right" he got down on one knee and held the box open to her

"Sara will you marry me and watch me grow old and deaf?"

"Well…" she paused he got a little worried

"I think we can get you a hearing aid if you need one but yes I will"

"Great!" he put the ring on her finger and began to walk out again but Sara was one who stopped this time.

"Greg"

"Ya?" he turned and faced her

"Don't ever forget that you're not alone okay?"

"I will if you promise to never break my heart again"

"It's a deal"


	2. Birthday Suit

**A/N**: Really trying to update frequently but as you guessed it, **TIME** has been a big factor along with **SCHOOL**, its not easy. And at some point I do like to **SLEEP**. I have no idea why I'm making some words **BIG** and others not, its fun. It may seem like that no one is grieving, its just I have to get some things out of the way first before the heavy duty emotions set in. I know this is going to sound very un-Sara like but i was pissed off when i wrote this so its more along the lines of someone being very annoyed and pissed off.

* * *

"What do you mean you wont give me it off?" Sara exclaimed the same morning in Grissom's office. She had booked it so they left in the late afternoon, giving them plenty of time to pack and still catch a few hours sleep if they wanted too.

"Exactly that, Greg just booked it off, a family emergency" he shuffled the paperwork, telling her he was done and that was final, she would have to stay. No she was not.

"I know that's why I need it off" she tried again, not wanting to tell him about her and Greg but if it came to that so be it.

"I'm not following" _of course you wouldn't follow, too dense to understand _she thought about saying those words out loud but thought against it she needed the time off.

"I just really need the time off; it's _personal" _she hoped he would get it this time but knowing him he wouldn't. For a smart guy he sure was stupid.

"I'm sorry Sara I can't be out two CSI's at one time"

"Well you're going to have to" she stood, she was ready to quit if he didn't give her the days off.

"I do my work, never mess up, I never dilly dag around, and I never take time off, so now that I'm asking to take time off you're not giving it to me?"

"It's not like that"

"Then how is it?" she crossed her arms, this was going nowhere fast.

"The team needs you, Las Vegas needs you…I need you" it may have worked before but not now.

"It bothers you doesn't it"

"What bothers me?"

"That I actually found somebody to spend my time with, and I'm no longer waiting for you"

"This has nothing to do with it" last straw bud

"Are you mad at me cause I found someone to fuck and its not you!" so that came out a little louder than she had intended, and it really wasn't the truth but wasn't a lie either, just stretching the truth, it had been over a month since she fucked him. He remained silent, she'd hit a nerve.

"You know what suspend me, fire me, I really don't care, Greg needs me and I'm going" she walked out leaving a very surprised Grissom in her wake.

"Miss Sidle may I have a word with you" SHIT! Not exactly the person she wanted to see right now

"Of course Ecklie what about?" she asked as innocently as she could

"Professionalism ethnic at the workplace"

"Okay"

"Your little conversation with Grissom, that I overheard along with half the lab" please say he was exaggerating. Please, please, please.

"I got out of hand, I apologize and it will never happen again" a little butt kissing never hurt anyone

"No it shall not or you may find yourself out of a job"

"Is that a threat?"

"Consider it just a little insight"

"You know what Ecklie" BITE ME! Go on say it, say it "I'm really glad we had this talk" chicken! She moved on, going to see for herself if half the lab found out she was _fucking_ Greg.

* * *

"I'm gonna take a shower" Greg told her as he unlocked his door and made his way in Sara following. She had made sure he gotten home okay and had some stuff to do before she left as well.

"Alright, I got something's I need to take care of so I'll be back within an hour maybe hour and a half"

"Okay" he took a big gulp of the water he'd gotten him self from the tap. He stood staring out the window in his kitchen, she did the only think she could think of. She walked up behind him and hugged him from behind. The smell was something that she had missed the most, he had his own special sent where his own musky smell mixed with the cologne he was wearing and it smelled…sexy.

"Do you want me to get you anything while I'm out?" she breathed in deep memorizing his smell.

"No I'm good"

"Well I'm off then" she was hinting she wanted a kiss but wouldn't come right out and say it. Her arms dropped and she turned to leave.

"Sara"

"Yes?"

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Umm pick up dry cleaning, picking up a few things and pack why?"

"And you were going to leave without a kiss?"

"Well I didn't want to but you weren't making any move to do so"

"I give you permission to smack me upside the head I don't clue in and give you a kiss"

"That's something I'm going to hold you to"

"Perfectly fine, now get over here and kiss me" he gave her a look that told her, he was really trying to be serious but it was hard for him, he was never serious.

"Greg where are you?" Sara shut the unlocked door, she didn't worry about it too much most guys think they could handle attackers but he was nowhere in sight and that's what worried her. She heard the faint runnings of water in distance. He still couldn't be in the shower could he, she left and he had gotten in she was sure of it cause he had dragged her to the bathroom too, to try and persuade her to take a shower with him but she won and had left.

She knocked on the door before entering, the shower was running but she couldn't see the silhouette of Greg's body.

"Greg are you" she pulled back the curtain. He was sitting on the bottom of the tub like he was having a bath but the water from the shower still hitting his skin.

The water was on as hot as it could go and still it was ice cold. She didnt have to ask, he'd been in there the whole time.

She grabbed a towel that was sitting near by and shut the water off.

"Greg baby come one stand up" he looked up at her like he didn't know who she was. Okay this was going to be harder than she thought. Calculating a few strategies of how to get him out and finally climbed into the tub with him.

"Your going to get sick if we don't get you warm" for being a normal sized guy he sure did weigh a lot. As if on cue his teeth started chattering.

"Please just say something" she walked around him towel drying him the best he could, in any normal circumstance she would find this extremely exotic but now wasn't the time to be thinking like that.

"Ssssooo Ccccolld" his teeth chattering faster and louder

"Let's get you into bed" she directed him to his bed tucking him in for the moment while she went to get more blankets. After piling on all the blankets she could find, his teeth were still chattering so she climbed into bed with him and snuggled up to him.

* * *

"Sara time to wake up beautiful" she was sleeping? She'd just laid down a few minutes ago. She opened her eyes and glanced at the clock sure enough two hours had passed. She could help but notice how she was touching bare skin, a lot of bare skin.

"Like what you're touching?"

"Love it" her fingers traced over his skin, his muscles jumping at her touch.

"Do you like what I'm doing?"

"Oh ya but no time" he threw all four blankets off him and got out of bed

"Are you all set to go?" she took his pillow and put it under her as she sat up on her elbow.

"Ya just waiting for you"

"I just gotta pack" which he began doing in his birthday suit

"Are you going to dress?"

"When I'm done, does it bother you?" he grinned like a little school boy

"Just a little bit" her eyes following him and he caught her meaning as snuggled back under the blanketsbehind her. Tracing a small strokes across her arm.

"Didn't you tell me we didn't have time?" she teased

"We're gonna make time"

* * *

"Anything I should know about your parents?"

"No their pretty cool, laid back"

"It'll be fine" he got out of the car and quickly went around to the passenger side, still basking in the afterglow of her letting him drive.

"You're forgetting I've seen Meet the Fockers" she reminded him

"I know we saw it together my parents are in between, they have their moments. Just don't ask to see any photos"

"Embarrassed?"

"No it's just Jaimie Lee is in most of them" and just like that the mood changed

"I'll wait" he rang the doorbell

"Ahh Greg do your parents condemn sleeping together before marriage?"

"No why?"

"Cause I'm pregnant"


	3. Superman

A/N: Sorry that it took a little longer than usual to get this one out, but went through a big writers block with this chapter, then bam it hit all at once, even got some ideas for the next chapter so you guys may not have to wait as long, also when the latin speaking, green and blue spotted plot bunnies spoke into my ear they gave me some ideas for a couple more stories completely different. So who knows where it will take me.

The poem was actually given to me by Nicole101, not sure who wrote it but who ever did rocks.

Enjoy!

* * *

The door opened to reveal a very stunned Greg with his jaw dropping.

"Hey Greg" his sister called, he looked from Jenny to Sara and reached in to close the door in Jenny's face.

"Who was that?" Cathy Sanders came into the room, her eyes puffy and red.

"Greg with some woman but he just shut the door in my face"

"What!" he exclaimed in a hushed tone

"I'm pregnant"

"But I thought…."

"Well I guess they were wrong"

"When'd you find out?"

"Yesterday right after we were given the case"

"So you're really one hundred percent sure?" Greg asked disbelievingly

"A hundred and twenty percent sure" Sara assured him

"Juma Greggers Sanders" the door flew open

"Get in here and apologize to your sister!"

"Sorry Jens" he told her as he hugged here

"It takes a death to bring you home?" Jenny whispered into his ear

"It's not like that" he whispered back and let her go

"Where are my manners, I'm Cathy Sanders and my daughter Jennifer my husband and his father are out in the garage"

"Sara Sidle" she shook the woman's hand but the woman pulled her into a hug.

"Jennifer would you be so kind to go tell-" she was cut off by Jenny

"The same Sara Sidle that Greg talks non stop about?"

"Well I didn't know you talked about me to your family but yes I am" the girl pulled her into a hug. Sara looked at Greg, his whole family so far was being like him.

* * *

The minister was droning on saying things Greg couldn't understand in a church filled with people he should know but at the moment couldn't remember and he didn't want to. If he had to hear one more person tell him how sorry they were for his loss, he would freak.

"_Don't think of her as gone away" _the minister's words drifting inside Greg's brain for once through the whole ceremony. It was funny really how you joked about death and who would wear what, but when you came down to it what was the point? Why have a funeral to reminisce what you've lost?

Why not bury the person and be done with it? Why spend a day, listening to some minister who didn't know the real person laying at the front talk about how good of a person they were even if half of it was bull shit?

_her journey's just begun __  
_

What journey? She was being buried six feet under the ground where in a months she would decompose and a hundred years later, their would be nothing but bones left if that, depending on the conditions of the soil.

_Life holds so many faces_

Well that was the truth if he ever heard it, he still couldn't understand he could have everything he ever wanted and be here burying his sister who had nothing. No hopes, no dreams, nothing to look forward to because she was dead.

_This earth is only one_

When he was growing up, his mother insisted that there was life after death much more grand then this one. 'Everyone has their own time clock, when it runs out, you move on' did she still believe that with her youngest child laying not ten feet away from her?

_Just think of her as resting_

He hated to say it let alone think it but maybe she was better off dead, she would have to see how cruel this world really was, wouldn't have to live with a chip on her shoulder because of a deal gone bad. Really she had it the best.

_From the sorrow and the tears_

The sorrow of never getting to see something as simple as a sunset or sunrise, feel the wind blow across her face, hear loud music from a passing car and thinking to herself that she knew that song. The tears of rejection but he guessed she already felt that with the boyfriend, friends and the club thing. That rejection was nothing compared to what she would have felt in life.

_In a place of warmth and comfort_

Warmth and comfort? How was a box that you barely fit in, supposed to bring you warmth and comfort? Warmth he could see being in the small space but comfort not a chance.

_Where there are no days or years_

A place where time stood still, where the young stayed young and the old stayed old. Wouldn't that place be fine and dandy?

_Think how she must be wishing __  
__that we can know today_

_Was it really possible there was a life after death? Once he had just to shut his mother up but now he wasn't so sure, science had always won out over the unexplainable of heaven and religion. _

_how nothing but our sorrow  
can really pass away._

_In a few years, months even people would forget her and move on with their lives, this day a soon long forgotten memory as people move on with their lives. _

_And think of her as living __  
__in the hearts of thoses she touched..._

Some would benefit from this he was sure of it, they would realize that as bad as it seems, it could always be worst. It's always worse before it gets better, like the calm before the storm, you get so psyched up for it, your stomach in knots anticipating its every move. And when it finally it's you think, why did I worry over such a small thing and you move on.

_for nothing loved is ever lost__  
__and she was loved so much_

Damn right she was loved very much. They had bonded when mom, dad and Jenny had gotten into that car accident, well they really had no choice they were stuck with each other. It was hard at first having only Papa Olaf close enough to help out, and he wasn't much of a help these days. As much as he hated to admit it, Papa Olaf was old and growing more fragile by the day.

Sara squeezed his hand bringing him out of his daze; it was time to go. He stood with the rest of his family. Wondering how each of them dealt with their grief. His mother had never been the one to hold anything back, and this was true even in grief, she wept freely now, holding onto her husband's arm as they walked together, his father crying also except more controllably. He'd never seen his father cry before. His sister was behind his mother and father, she was crying but kept dabbing at her eyes to keep the mascara from running. Then their was him, who was over analyzing everything and not even paying attention to where he was walking or to the faces he passed as he went.

Sara turned left when she should have turned right, he was aware of that but not much else.

"You should have turned right" he told her

"I'm not going to the house" she stated matter factly, her too trying to keep a lid on her emotions, as she blinked quickly.

"Then where?" he watched as the houses molded into one big blur as the speed went up.

"Here" she pulled into a gravel drive and shut the engine off.

"What are we doing here?" he took in his surroundings it was deserted no one around for miles

"Don't you ever feel like yelling in frustration?" more than she knew

"What's this got to do with anything?" he watched as she got out of the car and leaned against the hood, he followed. Feeling the warmth of the car through his clothes.

They stood there for a few minutes before she spoke up

"I feel as if I should be doing something to get you to talk to me" she said softly as he looked to the gravel in front of them.

"What makes you say that?" he had no idea she had felt like she was useless, it was a feeling he didn't like.

"You're so quiet and you have this glazed over look in your eyes and people have to ask you three times before you finally realize 'hey someone's talking to me'" he wasn't aware of anyone else picking up on that. She cleared her throat before she continued.

"Why are you shutting me out?"

"I'm not"

"Yes you are" the only contact we've had the last few days was please pass the milk, I know this sounds selfish but I miss the touch, the feel, the taste of you" she focused on a rock once again as he left their spot and paced to the back of the his hand on the back of his neck, thinking.

"I honestly don't know, I want to I really do but then I think that I have to be tough for every one, my parents, sister even you and the baby"

"You're not superman and I don't expect you to be perfect and it's okay not to be"


	4. How Much Do You Really Know?

A/N: I have a tendency to make up my own swear words and will use the same one for different ones depends on what im feeling. I'm telling you this cause im going to use a few to make Greg seem weirder than he already is. Also since I once was a big Nsync fan, and the recent release of their greatest hits Cd, I've decided to do a series of fics that have Nsync songs. Hehe. Also doing another fic little thingy between Nick/OC and Sara/Greg in the same chapter. Look for these in stores somewhere, or so I hope. Haha. (Now if only I had time to type them up) Sorry this took so long to update but I hit a writers block the size of Texas. Then tonight bam! It all came rushing out like the hoover dam. First song below this is Superman's dead by Our Lady Peace, may use it again don't know. Check it out – geez I'm sounding like Fergie from Black Eyed Peas in My Humps. The rest of the bolded lyrics are Tourniquet by Evanescence. Check it Out!

* * *

**_How long to you break?_**  
_**Your happy cause you smile  
**__**But how much can you fake?  
****Ordinary boy ordinary name**  
**Ordinary's just not good enough today**_

SMACK!

"Ow what in the flip balls was that for?" Greg asked as he began rubbing the back of his head.

"You told me I had permission to hit you when you weren't cluing in" wasn't cluing in to what? Oh right kissing her.

"Would you like me to kiss you?" he asked in a joking sort of way

"Among other things" she said, the wind blew gently as he came towards her.

"Tell me about her" Sara whispered, he had to strain to hear her.

"Who Jaimie Lee?" he gulped down his milk in the early morning, his mother would kill him if she knew he was up this early in her kitchen making a mess.

"Ya" he sat down at the kitchen table thinking how to sum up his sister in a sentence or less.

"Well she was the popular one, the steady boyfriend, the one who got good grades without even trying, model daughter, you know the one everyone hates"

"I'm sure she was more than that" she said as she came to him, placing her hands on his sagging shoulders.

He had to think about that one, was she really?

"No matter what time or how busy she was, she always had time to spend with you or do you a favor"

"She seems like a nice girl"

"She was" she'd been dead a week and he was already talking about her in the past tense

"You don't have to tell me this but was there a note left?" he really had to think about that too, he remembered his mother mentioning something along the lines of a letter but he didn't remember her coming out and saying the word 'letter'.

"I…I don't know" his sister killed herself and he didn't even know if there was a letter left, what kind of a brother was he?

* * *

"There you are" Sara stated as she found Greg sitting in a room, she knew as Jaimie Lee's, the door had been closed ever since they got here, the only one that had been closed. She sat at edge of the bed, a nice baby blue comforter covered the sheets.

"I didn't even know her favourite colour"

"That's okay how long have I known you and I don't know your favourite colour"

"I mean she kept changing it so often that I just gave up trying to know it" he swirled around in her computer chair, he'd been in there over an hour and the only thing he'd done was sit down on her chair.

"You don't have to do this" she finally said after a few moments of silence. He knew he didn't but he wanted to. He wanted to know his sister.

Sara glanced around the room, a little too girly for her with the pale pink walls and the baby blue comforter, the white furniture, it looked something that came from a movie. Her eyes rested on a book shelf full of pictures, she saw one that held younger version of Greg and a very young Jaimie Lee. She walked over to it, picking up, thinking it would have been nice to have keepsakes for eternity.

"That was taken the summer before I went to college. Dad insisted we take a camping trip, that he could get along in the wilderness"

"Did he?"

"Are you kidding we got lost twice and he got poison ivy, mom is was the leader for the week" she believed that, she hadn't known Cathy very long but something told her, she was the take charge kind of person.

"We have to tell them"

"I know"

"I think they already guessed about the engagement but the pregnancy"

"I know that too"

"Wanna wait for the right moment?"

"Definitely"

"Well I go see if I can help with dinner" she walked to the door but stopped and walked to him instead. She hugged him from behind, his arm coming up to return to the embrace.

"I'm worried about you" she whispered, her voice filled with unwashed tears

"There's no need, I'm fine" now if only she believed him.

She kissed his temple and left without saying another word. He knew she worried about him, it wasn't good for her to worry, it would hurt the baby but he really was fine. His finger reached out and turned on the screen to her computer, the screen instantly lighting up revealing her background. Her friends, family and herself filled the screen all smiling. His eyes welled up with tears, this was harder than he thought, but something that needed to bedone for closure, he was treating this like a crime scene, minus the collecting of physical evidence, he wanted to get inside of Jaime's head so that he knew her every thought and finally have the answers he was looking for.

He knew what kind of music he listened to but what about her? Hmm… he scrolled down and opened her music player and clicked play.

**_I tried to kill the pain_**  
_**But only brought more  
**__**So much more  
**__**I lay dying  
**__**And I'm pouring  
**__**Crimson regret and betrayal**_

Why did his sister have this song and only this song playing? Had she known for quiet a while that she was going to commit suicide? Usually when he processed a suicide, the people got depressed tried once or twice never really hurting themselves and one night took it to the next step, just using what ever was available, razor, rope, a gun or even pills. As the song continued on he looked through Jaimie's files hoping that something she had would give him the answer he needed.

_**I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
****Am I too lost?**_

Bingo! He found it or at least he hoped he found a document entitled me. It had quite a bit of pages to it 101 in fact and as he began to skim through it, he became more aware that it was her diary. He skipped most of it landing on the stuff that had started a month prior to her death. One entry caught his eye. April 19th.

**_My god My tourniquet  
_****_Return to me salvation  
_****_My god My tourniquet  
_****_Return me to salvation_**

_April 19th  
__The time is four pm, the weather is far a slight breeze blows the trees outside as I'm writing this, mother nature is at peace with the world when I am ready to throttle it by the neck. Today of all days our two year anniversary, Jeff comes out of nowhere and tells me that we should see other people, in front of his friends. They got a kick out of that, but I wouldn't let him or his idiot friends have the last laugh, I smacked him across the face and stormed out calmly. I sat in the bathroom until the end of lunch, not letting anyone see me cry. I barely made it through Math and English, anyone who was anyone had seen the break-up and I was the center of attention indirectly of course no one would talk to me, just look at me and laugh and continue talking. I broke a pencil in half by accident –I know what you're thinking but it really was an accident. Although I do wish it was Cindy's head. My friends wont even talk to me, they think I am some kind of freak now, they even voted to have me kicked of the cheerleading team. ME the Captain. Jeff, not even two hours of breaking it off with me had Cindy draped all over him and he did nothing to push her away, just looked at me like I was the one who had the problem, umm hello did the last two years not mean anything to you? Guess not. I was sooo mad when I came home I locked myself in the bathroom and well before I could think I picked up Dad's razor, amazing how this is the millennium and the guy still uses things they used in the 1800's. I broke the flesh, glad Greg was the one who went into forensics cause the moment I saw blood, I panicked and dropped the razor, if feel to the floor, along with the blood drops from my wrist. Maybe next time I try I will have enough guts to do so. _

He read a few more entries, nothing important coming up an occasional name mention of the new Ms. Jeff and no one talking to her. Another red flag came up when he read another one almost a month later.

_May 12th,  
__I ALMOST DID IT! I know I usually start off with how the weather is but well its shitty outside meaning its rainy and the wind is cold. Kinda like what I feel inside, my wrist hurts I finally got up enough courage to try it again, it only hurts for a few seconds before the pain goes away. The pain comes back after the bleeding stops, Mom still hasn't found the other towels from a month ago, I hid them in the back of the closet and used them again today. It's getting quite bloody; I may have to wash it. If only I knew how to use the washing machine. More about my day, same as usual no one talks to me, rather laugh and point, the friends I was thought were my friends were only being my friends to get close to Jeff and look how that turned out. They act as if I don't exist. Maybe it's better if I don't. _

His sister was starting to scare him, she had all the signs a suicidal person had. Unshed tears finally washed over his eyelids and down to the keyboard as he read the final entry.

_May 29th  
Weather was okay, it was warm in the sun, cold in the shadows so of course I'm freezing. I know if I wait a month more, I will be rid of these people and quite possibly never have to see them again but it's hard. I've made my decision, I have it planned out, I know how and when I'm going to do it. Tonight after mom and dad go to sleep so they cant interrupt me, and at least they can get some sleep. They worry about me, but have no idea what I'm going through. They don't understand, no one does. I'm so sorry but this is the last time I will be using this, shame really they bought me this computer two months ago for my birthday. I don't know what's to become of this maybe erased maybe not I really don't know. _

_Oh ya by the way Greg, I know you're reading this, the only one in the family strong enough to do so. I really am sorry. I wish I could take away the pain from everyone but all the pain that I feel inside will never amount to mine. I really am sorry and I hope you forgive me, this was something I had to do. Until we meet again - I've spent too much around mom _

_Jaime Lee_

**_my wounds cry for the grave  
my soul cries for deliverance  
will i be denied Christ  
tourniquet_**

**  
_my suicide…._**


	5. Lime Green

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Sadly second last chapter. Maybe another sequel who knows.

* * *

He needed to get out of here, he raced down the stairs and out the door, past five surprised sets of eyes and through the front door. He ran till he couldn't run anymore, which should have been longer but he only made it to the rental car they picked up. His head lay against the steering wheel, sobs shaking his entire body.

If he had been home, and read this like any brother would read his sister's diary, he would have known, would have stopped this. He didn't have any clue when she called once a week to give him an update on how the family was. She was his connection, now that connection lost.

He didn't notice the passenger door being opened and someone sitting inside until they spoke.

"You're really not fine are you?" the voice asked

Lime Green 

His head shot up, Lime Green that was her colour of the week lime green. He'd laughed when she told him that, not exactly the colour but her reply as to why it was that. _So we can have something in common silly. _

"Lime Green"

"What's lime green?" the person asked beside him

"Her favourite colour, just like mine it was lime green cause it was so bright and cheerful" he dried his eyes, finally feeling a little more at peace than before. His passenger remained quiet, looking out the scene in front of them, two boys playing street hockey unaware to the happenings in the car.

"Trade me seats" the person ordered

"Why?"

"Do you want to continue this here in the middle of the street or somewhere, where we don't look like idiots?" his passenger did have a point, so with one final look in the mirror he got out and traded with his lovely companion and soon were off.

"Did her computer say anything?" Sara asked as they reached there destination, the place still completely deserted

"It was all there in black and white, literally, she was the model of another thing, a suicidal person" he refused to look at her, looking anywhere else but her

"How so?" she knew how people who killed there selves worked, she had been one a lifetime ago

"Her diary was the same as any other teenage girl's until about a month ago when she stated her boyfriend broke up with her, friends avoided her, she even put she had tried to commit it, took dad's razor, even made a joke about it being from the 1800's" those were very sharp razors if taken care of, and didn't take much to cut yourself with those

"but she panicked and stopped, did it again a month later cutting deeper this time, when finally her last entry planned it out, even in the end she still cared enough to allow mom and dad to find her in the morning rather than at night so they could sleep"

Sara remained quiet not sure what to say.

"I don't know how they do it, stay in that house where she killed herself, I can't go back there, it's just too much"

"You shouldn't let this bother you to the point where you cant even come visit your parents and were are going to have to visit them, they are going to have a grand child"

"Meaning we have to tell them"

"Exactly"

"Alright miss ruin the mood, I was going to kiss you but not now. Let's go" he joked

"We have time for a little kissing" Sara said too quickly

"Nope let's go"

* * *

"I hear you're getting married" Nick told him two nights later, as he came into the break room

"Who from?" he looked at the older man, last time they checked they were waiting to tell everyone, a few days before they actually did.

"Oh I overheard Sara telling Grissom, that she needed the weekend off, he asked why, she told him, she was marryin you"

"Yes it's true"

"Can I ask why? I didn't even know you were dating"

"It's been going on for a while" he saw the disappointment in the Texan's eyes "We didn't say anything because of work, Sara could have gotten fired or me demoted back to the lab"

"I see so when is it?"

"This Saturday at noon"

"Where?"

"Oh at some friends of mine bed and breakfast they have a wicked garden" that still didn't tell Nick what he'd been hoping for.

"Wouldn't have thought you would be getting married out of all of us first"

"To tell you the truth neither did I" it was kind of funny if you thought about it.

The conversation stopped and for a moment an awkward silence set in before Greg spoke up again

"You're coming right?" Greg ran his fingers through his short hair not believing that they had forgot to invite the people they worked with.

"I'd thought you'd never ask"

"You two finally make a date?" Warrick joked with the two as he walked into the room.

"Nope Greggo here is getting married" Nick told the newcomer, Warrick's mouth opened a bit but if he was surprised he didn't show it.

"To who?" Warrick asked Greg

"Me" Sara walked into the room and sat down beside Greg, he felt himself blush knowing that she was carrying a part of him inside of her, she had only put on a few pounds but she still glowed and looked amazing in his eyes anyways. No one knew about the pregnancy yet.

"You owe me some bills" Warrick told Nick who fished inside his pocket for wallet

"You had a bet on us?" the two men looked down, the silence confirming her question.

"Not really on the two of us, just who told either of them we were together" Greg answered for the both men who seemed temporarily speechless.

"You knew?" Sara asked Greg all this confusion was making her head swim or was it the early signs of morning sickness? Who knew.

"Of course I did, overheard it one day" Warrick pulled the bills out of his pocket and handed two back to Nick.

"What was that bet about?" Sara asked the two silent men

"If Greg knew or not"

"You guys should go to Gamblers Anonymous or something with all the betting you do between each other" Sara joked.

"All honest fun Sara" Greg once again answered for Warrick and Nick

"Now I do believe we have to go shopping for baby accessories" Greg said as he got up and headed towards the door. Nick handed the two bills back to Warrick.

"Bet on why we were getting married?" Sara asked about the exchange of money, Warrick nodded and Nick looked down

"He asked me before he found out I was pregnant" Warrick handed him the bills back, Sara shaking her head in disbelief that they had so many bets going on. She stood and walked to the door, Greg grabbing her hand and walked down the corridor.

Back in the room, Warrick and Nick were making a final bet

"I bet you fifty bucks it's a girl" Nick stated

"You're on"


	6. A day in the Life

Final chapter of this one, no sequel unless you think I should but I think it sums it up in this chapter pretty much. Thought of a two new stories this weekend, one just a one shot and the other a few chapters. So be sure to look for those. Thanks for those reviews.

* * *

9 year old Mikey Sanders sat in a plastic chair forcing his back ot conform to the chair not the chair to him like at his dad's work where the seating was comfortable enough so he could fall asleep and had on more than one occasion. These chairs were lifeless waiting for someone to sit in them only to jump back out because it was uncomfortable.

His hands gripped the sides of the chair, butterflies in his stomach, he was next he was sure. Susie K was babbling on about what her father did for a living. A lawyer.

Mikey's dad sat beside him in another plastic chair, his hair still in disarray like it had been for the last 20 years or so his mother said.

"_An immature big kid" _his mother would call him sometimes and it was funny to watch his dad's face turn from smiles to angry in front of mom but smile when ever her back was turned. He would then always accidently smile in front of her and she would smack his arm and laugh. He would then grab her and kiss her, didn't matter if him and his sister were in the room or not, then they would go back to whatever they were doing.

He considered his parents to be cool, meaning they talked to him, helped him when he needed it and they were just there when he needed them. But if you asked his sister Jaimie Lee who was older by three years she would spaz and slam her bedroom door. And you didn't know if that was her answer or mad cause you talked to her.

Puberty everyone told him, his sister was going through changes, changes he didn't want to know about. His father would joke about it and say she was acting like mom, which of course got another glare from mom but they knew it was fun and games.

Jaimie Lee looked like mom and on her good days - which seemed to be fewer and farther between, she was like dad always hyper and rearin to go. Mikey always knew he looked like his father even dressed like him but acted more like his mom, willing ot read than watch TV but he had his favorites, everyone did. Mom would watch the cop shows like Law and Order and Cold Case but would never pass up a good rerun of Cops. His dad had his classic cartoons and would talk about the episode for the rest of the day until mom told him to shut it. His sister was hooked on soap opera's and of course dad teased mom about it cause Jaimie Lee was so unlike her. But on more than one occasion, he'd caught both his parents watching soap opera's together, while mom watching them dad trying to talk over them so she would get annoyed and flip to his shows, didn't work to often. He himself like the good shows that came on family and sometimes teletoon, but more often than not he was reading.

In a few minutes he was supposed to tell his school about his famil.y H wasn't ashamed of his parents, nor the job they did its just well his friends parents had jobs like a lawyer, dentist or doctor, his parents saw dead people everyday and sometimes came home smelling like death. He did have something over his friends, he had one mom, one dad, and a sister, his friends had two sets of parents and step brother or sisters, so he was lucky to have them and wouldn't trade them for anything.

"Mikey Sanders" the instructor called and his dad nudged him, he picked up his photo's they had hunted all over for last night.

"_You're just like your father" _his mother exclaimed when he told her about his project half an hour before his bed time last night.

He walked up to the front of the auditorium packed with students, parents and of course siblings. His teach thought he had good communication skills and had sighned him up for the speech contest he school had every years. There would be a camera on him so the people in the back could see him and a microphone in front in case he wasn't loud enough.

* * *

"What it's like to be Me by Mikey Sanders" he glanced around the room and the butterflies fled.

"It's 7:30am in Sander's household, I'm trying to get a few more minutes of sleep as I hear the front door shut, my parents are just getting home from work. I hear the steps creaking and wishing that just once dad will let me sleep a little longer but my door opens and he says the same thing he does everyday: Wakey, wakey eggs and bakie"

"My sister Jaime Lee hearing his voice shrieks, slams her door and blares her music, a natural thing in my house. After getting dressed I head downstairs to the kitchen where mom is making breakfast. I love my mom but she doesn't know how to cook very well so the bacon's always extra crispy, the eggs a little runny and the toast dark, not burnt but close. Dad says mom could burn water if she tried and sorry mom but I believe him. Yesterday morning dad finally got up the courage to tell mom about her cooking, didn't go over very well, mom pulled a Jaimie and threw a dish towel at him, stormed up the stairs and slammed the door. The breakfast was ate in silence.

After we leave for school, mom and dad go to sleep until its time to come get us. As mentioned before my parents work the graveyard shift at Las Vegas Crime Lab in Clark County. The sucky thing about them working there they know when one of us is lying.

I swear mom Billy broke the window, not me" and looks away, the audience laughed.

"From then on we do homework if we have any and mom's never more than a shout away if we need her. Dad well you have to shout extra loud cause he's always blaring music from the garage."

"But my family doesn't stop there, I have two uncles well not really my uncles but you know, Warrick and Nick, Warrick can tell you the latest jazz CD that's out and Nick you want him on your team for the water gun fight. Just ask Jaimie Lee, she did the mistake of being on dad's team, ya she got soaked"

'Then their's Grandpa Grissom, he's always seen mom as a daughter so it was just natural for us to call him Grandpa, his obsession is bugs, and Grandma Catherine, although she always insists we call her Catherine and she knows a lot more than any person should about fashion and will always say yes to shopping trip to the mall"

"I think I'm pretty lucky to have all these people in my life because each one of us makes up a portion of a family we may not be related physically but we are still family and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Thank you"

Applause broke out and he quickly sat back to his seat before his mother kisses him but she caught him before and he got smothered in kisses telling him he did a great job.

And for once everything was right the world, or at least with the Sander's family.


End file.
